My good intentions went up in smoke...

Gothic, "Blood," Part Five, Brian and Justin fantasy AU

2008-05-13T21:43:24Z

Banner by furriboots, click to see full-sized

Brian/Justin NC 17 AU
A/N: Vietnam, 1965
Summary: Justin Taylor, a young, idealistic aide worker, is brought in to help tutor a teenager on a French plantation by a mysterious government agency.

I hadn't intended to write this again so soon, but this dream like sequence gripped me. Kind of dark fairy tale.

Memorable entries for Gothic

Gothic, Blood, Part Five

Flocked on my fiction community.

It's really dead so I only found one thing to rec, gmta_nz posted a BJ ficlet I Never had a Teddy Bear.

The Hired Man, Part Four

2008-05-12T14:11:19Z

banner and icon by furriboots, click to see it full sized

Bryn/Ian, eventually NC 17
Around the late 1890s, small prairie town
Summary: After the death of his young wife and their newborn son, a reverend loses his faith in God, and yet he's reluctantly moved by the plight of an abused young ex con and offers him a job. What happens when a man of God begins to have feelings for his hired man?

Memorable entries for The Hired Man

The Hired Man, Part Four

*flocked on my jans_original community. Please read the community rules here and leave a comment here if you are interested in reading my original work.

Happy birthday, lazyshades. xx

sanami276 put up some nice stock icons here.

I found a new icon maker I love, check out loopyicons for stock and some movie icons, both animated and stills.

buckeye5 updated her Brian BDSM story Making a Scene Part 13 A and Making a Scene Part 13 B.

Say the Word, "Play," Part Seven, Brian/Justin

2008-05-10T18:35:04Z

banners for the challenge made by furriboots, click to see it full-sized.

Title: Say the Word
Seven: Play
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin
beta: furriboots
Disclaimer: Not mine.
An: AU in the style of pretty woman

Say the word: Advantageous by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Irreversible by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Complications by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Tempted by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Comfort by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Feminine by jans_intentions.

Say the Word: Cherry Blossom by Litlemspowerful.
Say the Word: White Chocolate by Litlemspowerful.

banner by darkwaif, click to see full-sized

Wow, you could have knocked me over with the proverbial feather when I logged on this morning to find out I'd won at the very tough, very prestigious spuffy award site, The Spark and Burn Awards. I can't believe I'm in there with Kantayra, Cousinjean, Kallysten, Spikesdeb, Shapinglight, lilachigh, angelic_amy and many others. My canon het one shot The Canvas of his Skin was a gift to the wonderful darkwaif and inspired by her fic recipe. Check out her banner above and see why I had to write it!

Thank you, judges of Spark and Burn.

"I'm sure you can appreciate my concern when Justin told me you have a playroom," Ben said, as he entered the loft.

Justin came out of Brian's bedroom, wrapped in a blue robe, his face stinging with fresh color. "Ben, I wish you hadn't come."

"Justin, if you insist on..." Ben coughed and Justin immediately got him a glass of water and led him over to one of Brian's chairs.

Brian was across the room, leaning on a pillar, shirt off, jeans open since Justin had been about to suck him on their second night before Ben had insisted on stopping by.

"I thought I should come get you anyway. Don't you get off work at midnight?"

Brian's jaw tightened as Justin cast a nervous look in his direction and then nodded. "Yes." He combed back Ben's hair. "But I probably would have just slept over. I don't think Brian would mind."

"I would," Ben said. He looked over at Brian. "I'm sure you can understand I wanted to meet you."

Brian nodded before his bleak gaze returned to Justin's face. Justin stared back a moment before looking away, knowing Brian wanted something from him but...he couldn't offer it.

His real boyfriend was here.

...

"Take off the robe," Brian ordered in his soft, even voice. "You'll have to be nude for my little demo of playing a Dom to reassure the professor."

Justin let it fall, seeing Ben's gaze go to the diamond collar he was wearing.

"Face the wall, legs spread, arms forward. Just...lean against it."

Heart pounding, Justin obeyed. He took a shaky breath.

"All right?" Brian whispered in his ear.

Justin's gaze riveted on Brian's impassive face. Concern...?

"...Yes."

"Remember your safe word."

"Fluffy." Justin chewed his lip. "Will I...? I heard this stuff is all about pain and I don't like that much, aside from spanking."

"Oh, you like spanking, do you?" Brian smiled very slightly as Justin's blush heated. "No pain. If we ever play down here, I always will tell you exactly what I'm going to do. Right now I'm going to touch you with my hands."

"That's it?" Justin's shoulders relaxed a little, though he could feel Ben watching them and worried what his boyfriend would think about...about how he was with Brian.

And how Brian was with him.

Hardly a whore servicing a client.

"You have to ask me politely to let you come. And in this room, I want you to address me as 'Sir.' You also have to be honest about what I make you feel. Can you do that?"

Justin swallowed, wishing he found the idea of a little humiliation...merely humiliating. But when Brian pushed him to experience it, it was so hot.

Worse, Brian was going to bring him off in front of Ben...?

He closed his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't be able to resist. Brian easily manipulated his body, picking him up casually like a favorite instrument and playing him whenever he wanted.

"Okay."

Brian raised a brow.

"I mean, 'yes, sir.'"

"Good boy." Brian kissed his cheek and Justin was torn between liking that and feeling exposed because Ben was watching. What must his long time boyfriend think?

Wearing only the black leather pants that Justin remembered getting off against, which might have been a deliberate and silent reminder of control and passion from Brian, Brian knelt at Justin's feet, in the gap between Justin's body and the playroom wall.

Brian reached up and ran his hands over Justin's thighs, lightly, with no sexual push, so that Justin found himself relaxing, although his penis, already hard, flexed, as if begging for Brian's touch.

Warm palms stroked the long bones of his feet, as Justin stared at the back of Brian's neck, the espresso strands of hair, tangled as if he'd just come from bed.

His imaginings were far more wanton than Brian's play, Justin recognized. He closed his eyes, but that only magnified the rasp of Brian's callused finger tips against his skin, dry and silky, skidding over the dips and bumps of his flesh.

Brian ghosted a finger through the gap between Justin's big toe and the next one--

Breathy sound.

Brian looked up, smiling a little, and then lifted Justin's foot, carefully supporting him, before taking Justin's big toe into his mouth.

Sucked.

Brian's eyes closed as a fervent look appeared on his face, so he resembled a dark, dangerous penitent at Justin's feet.

More pre come bubbled from Justin's cock, completely covering the head now so it glistened with Justin's want.

He panted, heavy eyed, watching as Brian picked up his other foot and his tongue penetrated the spaces between Justin's toes, so that Jusint moaned, head falling back, hips thrusting by reflex.

"Like that, little one?"

"Yes." Comforting rub of the soles of his feet. Gentle circles that grounded him even as his heart was pounding in his ears and he wanted to grab Brian's face and rub himself off against his hair, his lips.

Next, Brian's fingers stroked the insides of Justin's knees, following veins, digging into where muscle and flesh thickened into the backs of Justin's calves.

Justin's legs were by now shaking a little. "Please..." He licked his lips, trying to remember what he had to do to get what he needed. "Please, Sir."

"Please, what?" Brian raised his brows.

"Please touch..."

"I am touching." Brian ran a teasing finger in the tender space between thigh and Justin's balls.

"Touch my cock, my ass. Sir."

"My pleasure," Brian's voice was warm chocolate as he lifted Justin's balls and gently pressed a kiss to the underside.

Justin gave a lusty moan while Brian's other hand squeezed his ass cheek, making his feet shift restlessly.

Brian paused and then a finger rubbed over Justin's dimple. "You want me in here?"

Justin imagined Brian fucking him, hard, against this wall. Oh God, how could he stop himself from asking for it?

"Finger me. Please, Sir."

Color high in Brian's cheeks, as if arousing Justin moved him. He picked up some nearby lube and lavished his index finger before pushing it steadily, with no hesitation or fucking around, into Justin's ass.

Justin wilted a little, his body curling around Brian, trembling as Brian probed, rubbed, discovered--

"That's it, pretty boy. Some time when you stay with me, I'll make you wear a dildo and put a soother in your mouth." Brian reached up and tapped Justin's lips firmly. "Because you need something inside, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir." Justin's nipples were pointed, his chest flushed.

Brian held up a palm.

Knowing what was required, Justin whispered, "Please, Sir, let me--"

"Come all over my hand. I want to see you."

Justin pressed his aching sex against Brian's palm and just like that, his ass prickling with sensation, his body sensitized, he came, obedient, needy.

Brian's boy.

He wobbled and Brian caught him, pulling him so he was sitting on Brian's lap, Brian's hands on his back as Justin let his head fall on Brian's shoulder.

"You know what you're doing," Ben said, his voice husky, disapproval, pain, but also desire threaded through it.

Justin stiffened. Oh, fuck. How could I forget he was here?

"Justin, it's past midnight."

Justin avoided Brian's gaze as he climbed off his lap, wrapping his arms around himself, still shaken from the intensity of what Brian made him feel.

He knew Brian was hard, wanting, but now he had to go. Now he had to put aside this fantasy and return to the real world, his real life.

"I'll go get showered," he told Ben.

Ben nodded, his eyes glittering and Justin realized as soon as they got home, he'd be under Ben, taking him deep.

He wanted that, the sex, but Brian...

His gaze darted to his client, still sitting on his knees, watching Justin, only looking away when Ben put an arm around Justin.

...

Brian handed him an envelope. "If you give me a canceled check, I can have it direct deposited every week."

Justin swallowed thickly, nodding. "All right." He looked up at Brian's hard face, his aching eyes. Don't. Don't look so lonely. I have to go. I don't belong to you. "Ben's waiting in the car," he said, unnecessarily, not ready to leave Brian yet.

Soft, "He loves you."

Justin dropped his head. "Yes, I know."

"Shouldn't you go to your boyfriend?"

Justin raised his eyes, holding Brian's. "...Yes." He started to turn and then gave into a mad, dangerous impulse, crashing his lips against Brian's, seeing hazel eyes widen with surprise.

"You distinctly said 'no kissing,'" Brian reminded.

"You looked like you needed a kiss." Brian's capable palm cupped his face gently before threading through his hair. "You made me feel..." No more. He couldn't say anything more and be a loyal boyfriend to Ben.

"You'll think of me this week." Justin heard the question and the loneliness under Brian's gruffness.

"I shouldn't."

"You will." Brian was smiling a little, making it easier for both of them.

Justin felt like he was a butterfly, one wing tearing as he forced himself to pull away from Brian.

"See you, uh, next weekend."

"See you."

**************************************

TBC

The Secret Ingredient

2008-05-10T05:27:32Z

I haven't done meta in a long time. I prefer to work on my stories and I'm very much focused on crafting them, seeing what works, what doesn't work. But I have done two pieces, one about writing AUs and another about character bashing, both in the Buffy fandom some time ago.

But I'm frequently asked: why do people read your work?

It's something I mull over constantly. I want to understand the tools I use, to be conscious of craft. I want to be a better writer this year than I was last year. Of course, the best way to do that is by writing.

But I think that why people read my work is a universal and many authors offer it.

So what is it?

First, let's examine the basics:

Story is a medium where writers try to transmit specific emotions. We want people to be moved, to feel wonder, or tears, or laughter. We want to make people spellbound, caught up with us in the same sticky web.

A story is built on good characterization. People must care about your characters, whether they are canon or original. Without that, just close up your tent and head home since nothing else you do will matter.

How do you create appealing characters? I believe through two things: empathy and respect. Those qualities have to dwell within a writer and be part of the filter of their experience, so if you care about people, if you are sensitive to their feelings, than I believe you can write appealing characters.

After characterization, plot is important. I think of plot as a crucible. Your characters experience things that change their perspective, so that at the end of a story, they are in a different place, with new insight, than they were in the beginning. It may be only slight, as with Spencer at the end of a Robert Parker mystery, where he knows who the killer is, but that is sufficient.

Next are more subtle things which are important.

Enjoyable character interaction. If a reader would be moved to eavesdrop on a conversation between your characters, than you have it.

Erotica. This has to be handled carefully and with respect. A sex scene is as difficult to structure as an action scene.

I find that the kinkier a scene, the more 'props,' the more you need to be grounded by what your character is feeling, thinking. I often deliberately make sure that if I write something especially kinky, where play might come off as a little far out or harsh, that tenderness saturates the scene.

Which brings me to the end of my little piece of meta.

What is my secret ingredient?

There isn't anything very earth shaking about it, and I'm very grateful for years of interactive story telling through fan fiction which has allowed me to hear from readers what they like.

I think what I offer is tenderness.

Good Hands, Part Eleven, Brian/Justin AU

2008-05-09T20:15:34Z

banner by furriboots

Title: Good Hands
Part: Eleven
Genre: Brian/Justin
beta: furriboots
Summary: AU
Warnings: N/a
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Tower icon by andos_pics

Memorable Entries for Good Hands

Good Hands, Part Eleven

rinmonsterer posts BJ icons in her new community here.

An Unsuitable Man, Inara, Brian/Justin, Firefly/QaF crossover

2008-05-08T16:06:35Z

Inara (Firefly) and Brian/Justin (QaF)
Planet Ariel, set during Firefly
Rated NC 17
Words: 614
Inara returns to her mentor and the unsuitable man she once loved, Master Justin of the Ariel Companion House, who gives her very unusual comfort and hope for winning her stubborn new love.
Includes the prompt "Danger zone" for tamingthemuse

This quirky piece was partially inspired by a desire to write Inara and Justin in a friendship piece, as well as Brian/Justin in the futuristic setting of Firefly (with some things in common with BJ in Noir, as readers will find out as it continues). As well as a desire to write a little het, a little fem slash, and a little m/m erotica. And Firefly is actually pretty tough to write, lots of lingo and setting you have to get right, so it's fun to do something that stretches me. This is the first of a tiny series I'll be doing for my double prompts. I think it might be rewarding and unusual and steamy for readers as it unfolds.

If you have never seen Firefly: Inara is a Companion, a high class bisexual courtesan who services men and women. She has left the safe Core Worlds and works off of a beat up freighter called Serenity, where she's found family.

This is Inara:
*icon by the magnificent eyesthatslay

Essentially the mini story will focus on being in love with 'an unsuitable man' Inara with Mal, Justin with Brian.

An Unsuitable Man

I'm working on Good Hands now. Possibly have that up later.

I probably will be spreading around this special gift from LJ this month as it helps a charity that is close to my heart: Emerging Sun virtual gift. So putting out the word that if you are thinking of gifting someone, this is for a good cause.

Beautiful Brian and Justin icons from no_apologies_86 here.

Great quote icons from girlyb_icons in the making here.

The Buffy award site which only runs once a year in celebration of Angel desperately needs votes: Angel without Wings Awards. Go vote!

Lots going on in the bj_vip_room lately. So much fun playing there.

And justin_alone filled in the erotic details Brian wouldn't touch about their night in Babylon here.

Garden photos

2008-05-07T01:30:31Z

Pink hanging lantern (pink is the color of happiness) and Quan Yin statue with minature Japanese maple. My patio has mostly an Asian feel in choice of pots and plants, with a little cottage garden thrown in. Click on the thumb nails to see full sized.

I walked over to the garden center yesterday and hauled home 45 pounds worth of plants (by hand over one mile--hee!) and worked on my patio for three hours planting, organizing, new and old. And today a neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. We ended up at the garden center again, spending an hour walking the paths, looking at all the specimens and talking about what would suit her garden and mine. It was lovely. My Sheltie wandered the grounds since I take him off leash there.

Plants on my hand made mosaic table (made by me) are two types of lavender, a giant elephant ear leafy plant (name escapes me now, but I'll remember later), and some colorful hens and chicks I potted into the small clay pot which rests on a hand made clay plate by me.

One of the things I bought was a Spanish Lavender topiary which is good to zone five. You could not grow this in most of North America but our climate is mild enough to grow palm trees. All my pots lined up to the door, but I put in a large jug from a trip to Portugal to break it up a little.

A close up of the garden scape I made with a small Buddha buried in herbs and the top of my topiary rose tree, which will be covered in blooms next month. A bamboo wind chime hangs from it and I found bird droppings on my small bronze statue of Leda and the Swan from Greece today. A purple finch has been sneaking in to drink water from my small fountain in the mornings.

Wonderful icon maker I found recently for beautiful stock and QaF icons: trinketwood.

I actually started out Gothic, Good Hands and a quirky one shot but have been writing at odd hours. Pretty sure something up tomorrow but I needed a day off.

Bali, Part Seven, Brian/Justin futuristic AU

2008-05-05T18:30:19Z

Captain Brian Kinney's mission is complicated by his forbidden attraction to his new helo pilot as they set out to find and sink a submarine used by a cartel to hit friendly shipping in the south seas.

banner by furriboots, click to see full-sized.

Title: Bali
Seven Kokopelli
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin, Gus/Brandon AU
betas: furriboots
Warnings: occasional graphic violence.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/n: short story written for the neverenough_bj challenge of 'The Problem with Brandon'.
Photos from Bali from 'Tropical Interiors.' Click on the thumbnail to see it full-sized.
Lyrics from "I was Brought to my Senses" by Sting.

More a little earlier since I had done such a short previous chapter. It's a nice day here so I can't wait to walk to the garden center.

Memorable entries for Bali

Previously:

Brian took Justin's wrist and pulled him out onto the veranda. Beyond, rain fell in a shimmering wall.

"Run," Brian growled.

"...Brian?"

"Run and I'll catch you."

Heart picking up, Justin lurched off the veranda and into the dark.

Can't catch me, can't catch me! He laughed at the absurdity of the voice in his head, but the laughter died when he looked over his shoulder and saw Brian illuminated by a flash of lightning. Hard faced. Intent gaze tracking Justin.

Justin heard the thudding of Brian's boots as he came after him, and laughed with excitement.

His clothing, his hair, were soaked and he could barely make out Brian in the sepia of the solar activated lights in the fields.

He skidded in the mud and a long arm reached--

He dodged, laughing again, thinking it was like a mid air dog fight. He loved to battle inside the skin of his little helo.

Why make it easy? Justin sprinted through a row of tall coffee plants, looking over his shoulder to see Brian pursuing.

"Have to catch me first, old man," he taunted.

"I'm going to get you," Brian growled.

Justin yelped when he almost ran into a palm tree. He skidded in the mud and backed away from Brian, seeing...

His face. Savage.

This was a game, but on another level Justin suddenly felt himself at risk.

"...Brian?" he gasped.

Brian's hand in his hair, tugging, Justin's head falling back and then a hard kiss and then he was falling, only Brian hit the mud and rock, cushioning Justin.

"Let me?"

"Yes."

Lightning flashed, illuminated Brian's face, and Justin felt like he'd taken some kind of primal vow, mating with an earth elemental, ready to take him into his body. Ready to let himself be fucked.

And inside every turning leaf
Is the pattern of an older tree
The shape of our future
The shape of all our history

"Wenge, mesua, shedua, mozambique, koa..." Brandon watched Gus smooth a hand over the box.

Gus was sitting up in their--his--bed, sheet wrapped modestly around his waist as his fingers explored Brandon's carving.

"Exotic woods. You built this hut, didn't you?"

"I...remodeled it." Brandon felt as if the boy were touching him, connected by his work. He wanted...

But he was too experienced to push. He knew it would be so much better if Gus gave himself. He'd been waiting for weeks. He would wait as long as it took.

Brandon saw curiosity in Gus's eyes and cleared his throat, unaccustomed to talking about himself. "I needed to build something."

"Create something substantial so you didn't feel like a shadow."

"You do understand. I guess I knew that about you. Why I--" Brandon cupped Gus's cheek. "Gus, I know what it is to feel like no one sees you. I overcompensated for a long time, playing like I was some kind of sex god."

Gus's lips quirked.

"Brat. That part isn't an exaggeration."

...

Brian covered him, sinking in.

"Uhhhhh!"

A gentle kiss, almost an apology for that first discomfort.

Justin scraped mud with his fingers and reached up to lay two streaks on Brian's face, so that Brian looked even more the primeval warrior.

Brian was intent beyond whimsy, focused, lifting Justin's thigh so--

Justin's lips parted.

"Better." Not even a question. Brian didn't need to ask.

Raw instinct. Distended, aching, lodged within, pulling out, blue eyes cloudy with pleasure, dirty feet knotted around surging hips in an embrace.

...

After, at first they were content just to breathe, Brian softening inside, Justin's hand on his ass, caressing.

"Christ." Brian pulled out and Justin made a soft sound of protest until he was settled onto Brian's lap and Brian's palm smoothed over his shoulders. "Take off the rest of your shit. We're a fucking mess, but there's a hut close by with a garden fountain. We'll use it, clean up."

The storm had softened like the rain, like their passion, yet Brian's hands did not leave Justin's body as they walked, Justin feeling again an elemental moment as they stepped out of the fields, naked, Brian leading him through the unknown landscape by the hand.

...

"You said your son was seventeen? What's he like?" Justin wasn't allowed to wash himself. Brian did it, using a cake of cedar soap, very thorough, dark olive hands on alabaster skin.

"You bruise fucking easy." Brian pushed aside the little net they'd forgotten in the haste to couple. "He's a loner."

"Like his Papa."

"Justin... I'm opting out of the navy in six months." Brian caught the surprised look on Justin's face before he averted his gaze. "I'll be beached by then, since a destroyer driver only gets one command. I can't face riding a fucking desk or lecturing at the Naval War College. I want..."

"Yes?" Justin raised a brow. His heart was pounding. He wasn't sure why.

"I want time with my son."

"Right. Sure."

"And maybe..."

Justin stepped out of the water, away from Brian's hands. "I have a year and a half to go on my tour of duty."

"I know."

"I haven't thought about what I'd do after." Justin shrugged, awkward.

"Your art?"

Justin nodded. "I have choices now. Savings I haven't touched. Mom got sick, Dad was gone, so I had to raise my sister. I needed money to do that so I couldn't exactly run off to indulge my artistic dreams."

"I married someone. Made a son. Then..." Brian sighed. "I knew I didn't want that life."

"But now you want him."

"I don't know how."

"Maybe you should buy a whistle like Captain von Trapp in that vintage musical The Sound of Music?"

"Maybe I just need a translator around. Someone closer to Gus's age." Brian tugged Justin closer. After a moment of resistance, Justin went.

"You're fucking shivering! Towels in the garden hut."

"Won't wake anyone up?" Justin trailed after Brian as he entered the hut, which was open on three sides.

"Probably not. The guy who works for me is a real tom cat. Kind of like you used to be..." Brian cocked a brow at Justin but Justin just gave him a demure look.

He headed up the stairs in search of linens, passing lit votives.

"Shhhh, Brian, I'm sure that someone's--" Justin came to a halt, nearly slamming into Brian, who had been reaching into the linen cupboard.

"Gus?"

A dark haired boy sitting on another man's lap looked up from the draped bed, staring at Brian and Justin.

Justin snatched a couple of cotton towels and tried to give one to Brian but Brian put his hands on his hips.

"Dad! Uh."

"Kinney." Only Brandon looked relaxed, his hands not falling from Gus's hips despite the way Brian glared. He noticed Justin. "Hey, the talented Justin," he said, smiling.

Brian's head whipped around and he stared at Justin, who had finished knotting cloth over his hips and swallowed thickly as he made a production of doing the same for Brian and thereby avoiding his gaze.

"Hello, Brandon," he managed.

**************************

TBC

Bali, Part Six, Brian/Justin futuristic AU

2008-05-04T15:08:37Z

Captain Brian Kinney's mission is complicated by his forbidden attraction to his new helo pilot as they set out to find and sink a submarine used by a cartel to hit friendly shipping in the south seas.

banner by furriboots, click to see full-sized.

Title: Bali
Six
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin, Gus/Brandon AU
betas: furriboots
Warnings: occasional graphic violence.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/n: short story written for the neverenough_bj challenge of 'The Problem with Brandon'.
Photos from Bali from 'Tropical Interiors.' Click on the thumbnail to see it full-sized.
Includes the prompt 'Danger Zone' from tamingthemuse.

I actually lost this chapter on Friday by accident and had to rewrite it, but I think this version is better now. And yes, I know it's short, but I needed to structure it this way.

Memorable entries for Bali

Previously:

Brian fitted the little net around his waist and between his legs, closing the links. It immediately shaped itself to Justin's body, cupping his balls, just penetrating him in the back and wrapping around his cock.

"Unfortunately you can't come now unless I allow it," Brian reminded Justin.

"I guess I won't be able to hook up here in Bali," Justin observed dryly.

"No, but I thought." Brian cleared his throat. "Come home with me."

"Oh." Justin got off the bed, seeing the net had made itself invisible now. He'd heard it was capable of amplifying feeling as well as controlling it. He couldn't wait to--

"Your home?"

"I want to check on Gus," Brian said, pulling Justin onto his lap. "But tonight I promise to show you the pleasure enhancer on the net." Kiss. Justin whimpered because he was hard, needy, and he could tell Brian was going to make him wait.

Brian's index finger brushed the tip of Justin's cock, circling. Slow. "Come home with me, Kitten."

Kinney Balinese coffee plantation, 2449 Hours; June 11, 2047

"It's all right." Gus blinked, squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn't--

"You just got a little dizzy when you--"

"I'll be fine," Gus muttered, woozy.

He was sitting next to the fountain in Brandon's garden. Now they were alone, the two Bali who had serviced them gone.

Brandon studied Gus's face in the flickering lantern light, his face distantly concerned.

Gus hated being the recipient of such a look, and yet... attention.

Brandon didn't seem to mind him hanging around for three quarters of the white sun drenched day.

"I think the bleeding's stopped."

Gus had a gash on the side of his head from hitting the stone wall when he climaxed. He'd never been so excited, holding Brandon's gaze as they were both sucked off.

"I'll walk you back to the house."

"Can't I stay with you?"

"Gus, I'm going to lose my job over you." Brandon pushed back some of Gus's tousled dark hair.

"Fine, I'll--"

"No." Brandon stood and held out a large palm. "Stay. Might as well."

Gus's muscles relaxed. His dick was still sensitive from his orgasm, but it twitched at Brandon's possible welcome.

"I knew as soon as I saw you, you'd fuck up my life."

Gus gave a small grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Brandon guided Gus carefully up the stairs to his sleeping loft.

Hand on the driftwood railing where some lit votives were suspended, Gus stared at a sketch of a blond with long, untamed hair and a frilly shirt.

"That's you?"

Brandon touched the canvas, his fingers revisiting an old friend. "A gift after a very nice weekend. Justin. Some kind of sailor..."

...

"Your house is..." Big. Not what I'm ready for. "Uh, beautiful," Justin said, waiting as Brian waved a crystal key and the plantation double doors opened.

"I've hardly spent any time here." Brian looked at Justin's upturned face in the entrance way light and experienced a strange impulse. He'd probably throw his back out or some Goddamned thing if he--

What the fuck? No one was here to see them and it was his fucking house.

"...Brian!" Justin's grip around his neck as his feet dangled and Brian stood there, adjusting to more than Justin's weight.

"What? It'll be quicker if I carry you to bed. You don't know the floor plan." Brian swallowed before he said... Christ. It had to be because Justin had almost been shot down.

Justin stroked the white streak through his older lover's hair. "You can and I appreciate being the recipient."

Brian kissed Justin, losing himself in slutty welcome. "Tour can wait."

Justin pulled Brian's palm down so he could cover the aching penis he now controlled through the net Justin had agreed to wear. "I need you. Please."

Fat, hard drops of rain suddenly pelted the windows which shuddered with the proximity of thunder. The light went out. Sudden darkness.

"I hope that's not an omen for our weekend," Justin said, giving a rueful laugh.

"Just a tropical storm," Brian said.

"I know," Justin's breath on his lips. Brian felt a sensation just above his ass, almost the tightness of coming.

...

Brandon watched as Gus stripped down to his boxers before he climbed in the bed, looking anywhere but at Brandon.

Brandon gave Gus a laconic look. "You might as well be up at the house."

Gus let out a deep breath. "Nervous."

"Okay." Brandon closed his eyes.

Rain suddenly hit the roof, making the grass seethe above them. Stray drops penetrated.

The lights in the hut went off and only candle light that lived in the votives on the stairs lit the sudden abyss.

Brandon half expected the timid palm that found his chest.

...

Justin's link shrilled.

Brian put him down, face impassive.

Justin answered it, listening. "I understand. Yes, Sir." He cut the link and looked at Brian.

"Back to the danger zone. The replacement parts for the helo on Hillary will take another week, but they need me to fly ASW duty off the cruiser Fitswilliam."

Brian nodded.

"You knew?"

"I'm your skipper."

"It's that easy to...?"

Brian grasped the back of Justin's neck firmly.

Justin huffed, "Okay, it's not that easy."

"If you get killed, you won't get your spanking with a rolled up newspaper," Brian warned gruffly.

Justin felt a sharp sensation in his throat.

"I have been fantasizing about that ever since I met you."

"I like the one where you're my slave."

Justin smiled, feeling better. Brian didn't want him to get killed. "That's shamelessly un-PC!"

"Name me one really good sexual fantasy that is PC, Taylor," Brian pointed out dryly. "What time do you leave?"

"After breakfast."

Brian took Justin's wrist and pulled him out onto the veranda. Beyond, rain fell in a shimmering wall.

"Run," Brian growled.

"...Brian?"

"Run and I'll catch you."

Heart picking up, Justin lurched off the veranda and into the dark.

Can't catch me, can't catch me! He laughed at the absurdity of the voice in his head, but the laughter dried when he looked over his shoulder and saw Brian illuminated by a flash of lightning. Hard faced. Intent gaze tracking Justin.

*****************************

ASW = anti-submarine warfare.

Bali, Part Seven

Say the Word, "Feminine," Part Six, Brian/Justin

2008-04-30T17:53:25Z

banners for the challenge made by furriboots, click to see it full-sized.

Title: Say the Word
Six: Prompt word for this chapter given to me by litlemspowerful: Feminine
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin
beta: furriboots
Disclaimer: Not mine.
An: AU in the style of pretty woman

Say the word: Advantageous by jans_intentions
Say the Word: Irreversible by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Complications by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Tempted by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Comfort by jans_intentions.

Say the Word: Cherry Blossom by Litlemspowerful.
Say the Word: White Chocolate by Litlemspowerful.

Saturday morning, Brian opened the door of the loft, stared into Justin's eyes and then cupped his cheek, whispering, "How is your boyfriend?"

Justin's eyes stung at this gentleness. He was so confused about being here, doing this, wanting to do this.

"Better thanks," Justin said. "You didn't have to stay all night Tuesday."

Brian shrugged.

Flushing, Justin cleared his throat. Time to get down to business.
"So, how do you want me?" he continued, letting some coolness brush like fresh air between them.

I can't lose myself to him.

"Take your clothes off. When you're here with me, I don't want you wearing any."

Justin gave a jerky nod. He put down his small overnight bag and pulled his tee shirt over his head.

Brian folded his arms and leaned against one of the loft pillars, making no pretense he wasn't going to watch--and enjoy--Justin removing his clothing.

When Justin was nude, he looked around the room under his eyelashes, a little shy under Brian's unsubtle gaze.

"Bend over the couch a moment, I want to check something."

"Um. Okay." Justin obeyed. He felt the brush of Brian's hands on his ass, felt Brian spread his ass cheeks.

Now?!

"Waxed." A brush of fingers on the back of his balls. "But there's a little stubble around--"

"Yeah, I was going to--"

Brian ran a hand down Justin's spine.

Justin shivered.

"You can take care of that now."

The hand was gone.

Brian had stepped away. He obviously wasn't going to take what he'd bought and paid for.

Yet.

...

Sitting on a heated finely made Egyptian cotton terry cloth towel, Justin dipped his razor into soapy water again.

Brian was on the other side of the couch, slouched, papers on his lap from work. Every now and then he looked up at the soft tinkle of water, watching Justin shave around his sex.

...

Justin rubbed a waxy cream into his freshly exposed skin, conscious of Brian's gaze.

"Open your legs a little wider," the soft, inevitable command.

Color high in his cheeks, Justin pulled his thighs open with his palms.

Brian's foot.

Lifting Justin's balls gently, then stroking the crease between Justin's sex and his inner thigh.

"I never had a thing for feet," Justin said.

"My feet. Your boyfriend doesn't do this with you?"

"...No."

"Good." A little smile.

"Are you going to...?"

"No hurry. When you want it, you'll ask me."

Justin chewed his lip. Shit.

"Tell me what you think when I play with you this way?" Brian's foot, circles of comfort, circles of stimulation on Justin's leg. His erection flexed, huge and swollen, catching Brian's gaze, hungry for Brian's care.

Basking. Painful excitement. Knowing that if he wanted relief, Brian would offer it only on his terms.

He rubbed the collar around his neck. Control.

"...Uh, it's almost insulting. Casual. You can't be bothered to touch me with your hands, your mouth. I'm like a little pet you see to."

Brian nodded. "I want you to know your place."

"So I don't get close enough to hurt you?"

...

Brian snapped on the diamond collar. "The last rule is if I get hard, you take care of it. Mouth or ass."

Brian's hand feathering through Justin's hair.

"Ruthless."

"I prefer to see it as being in control of the situation." Brian nodded to the far side of the loft where tall windows were covered in filmy white curtains. "I set up an easel. Supplies."

"...Brian." Justin climbed to his feet. Walked over, conscious he was eye candy, bare ass, to his patron. He ran a hand over the canvases, saw expensive paints spilling out of black cloth bags (Brian obviously disdained using plastic--probably for aesthetic reasons rather than environmental ones).

Quietly, "Do you like it?"

Justin smiled over his shoulder, letting his pleasure shine in his eyes. Being there for him the night Ben got sick, and now this...?

"Then come over here and show your gratitude. I got hard watching you walk across the room."

...

He dropped to his knees in front of Brian, pushing open his legs, eyes down, color high on his cheeks. He opened Brian's pants and pulled him out, leaning down to nuzzle Brian's penis almost affectionately.

Maybe Brian wanted this to be all business, but Justin wanted to give him something more than servicing.

Brian groaned and a second later a large warm palm clenched over Justin's skull, pressure carefully measured.

Justin smiled and laid a line of kisses like an arrow along Brian's penis.

On his knees, he cupped Brian's balls, squeezing, aware of who had the power now.

...

Justin sat up on the over sized pillows Brian had spread out in the great room. He rubbed his face and looked over at Brian's bedroom. The shutters were closed and it was dark. Brian must finally have stopped working and gone to bed.

Justin had fallen asleep promptly at ten, worn out from the week with Ben and his classes.

His body was still a little tender. Achy and unsatisfied.

Ask me, Justin.

He shoved off the blanket and got up to get a glass of water. One of the lights was still on, providing soft gray ambiance. He leaned against the counter, noticing a spiral staircase behind the dining room table.

He put down his glass and then with a glance at Brian's bedroom, ghosted over to it.

Hand on a steel rung, he hesitated, peering into the darkness below.

...

"Like it?" Brian's soft voice.

Justin looked up from where he'd been looking at erotic illustrations in an elaborately embossed leather book.

"Ben told me he played with bondage before..."

Brian crossed his muscled arms, leaning against the staircase. "It's a playroom."

Justin looked around at rough red frescoed walls, showing Greek men with their boys. The floor was hardwood. There was a tall palm tree by one window, which was covered by a wooden plantation shutter.

The cot to one side vaguely resembled a medical hospital bed. Cabinets stood along one wall, exotic items gleaming softly behind glass.

And there were other things, pieces of wooden and black leather furniture Justin only vaguely understood were for deeper play. He avoided looking at them.

His fingers grazed the folds of a strangely feminine hunk of rough cut garnet. "This place...you created it for him, didn't you? The guy who left you."

Brian's jaw hardened.

"I still use it sometimes."

Justin licked his lips, feeling a hot wash of want. Brian.

Brian went over to a closet and opened it, peeling off his silk pajama bottoms and replacing them with black leather drawstring pants. He left the crotch untied, so his penis hung, semi-erect, like dark, forbidden fruit.

He reached down and pulled on tall black leather boots before going to the cabinet and opening it, removing a crystal flask.

"You need relief," he said. "Let me give it to you, Justin. Don't..." He huffed out an exasperated breath. "Don't fight me."

Justin regarded Brian calmly before climbing to his feet. He walked over and knelt in front of him.

"You have no idea how fucking hot it is when you do that," Brian said, cupping Justin's face.

"If I ask you to help me get off, will you answer one question?"

Brian continued to caress Justin's hair. "Depends on the question."

"Why did he leave you?"

Brian's gaze moved around the room, weighing. "He got more and more into playing his role. Lost himself in being my submissive."

"Forgot to talk to Brian? To see Brian?"

Brian's lips tightened but he didn't speak.

Justin reached up and took Brian's hand, calling back his attention. "I won't do that."

...

Brian splashed cedar oil over his leather covered calf.

He took Justin's hand, guiding him so he was kneeling as high as he could, his legs slightly spread.

Brian's black boot entered the delta of Justin's open thighs. Cool, slick oil brushed against Justin's aching fullness.

A little humiliation can feel good.

"Look up at me."

Arms around Brian's leg, body thrusting, Justin held Brian's gaze as he humped his leg.

Brian's pupils were huge, darkness that Justin drowned in, a thumb grazing his open, panting lips as he, God, he didn't care about how he must look, about what he was doing.

It felt--

"Come for me, Justin," Brian ordered calmly.

The hot splash of relief. Whimpering--

And then Brian was beside him, holding him as he trembled, as his heart pounded like a horse that had broken loose, broken free.

"I've never been so wild as I am with you," Justin confessed.

Brian rubbed his thumb against Justin's lips before tenderly kissing them. "I love you wild. I love you free."

"And I'll make you a little less lonely," Justin said, pushing.

Brian leaned his forehead against Justin's. "All right," he acquiesced.

**************************************

Say the Word: Play, Part Seven

Unbearable, 'Chimera,' Part Thirty, Brian/Justin alternative season three AU

2008-04-29T14:39:39Z

Banner by furriboots

Title: Unbearable
Part Thirty: Chimera
Rating: Eventually NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin
betaed by furriboots
Summary: In an AU of season three, Justin Taylor works part time at Vanguard where he is painfully crushed on unattainable Brian Kinney.
Warnings: N/A
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Includes the prompt "Chimera" from tamingthemuse.
Click on thumbnail of Chimera illustration to make it full sized.

I had a little trouble getting back into the skin of this story and realized it was time I draw it to a close. This is the first part of two, since I find hearing from my readers and taking a pause before finishing a story helpful.

I also recognized that I wrote Painting Lessons out of my love and admiration for Brian. Unbearable was all about my love of Justin.

Memorable entries for Unbearable

Unbearable, Chimera, Part Thirty

*The link is flocked. To see this story update, go to jans_fiction and join the community by visiting the user page and following the instructions at the top of the page.

Happy birthday metafascinating, eshal and callie89. xx

Information on fighting for Luke and Noah here.

I think unless you live under a rock, you know now that Gale will be on Desperate Housewives. Details here.

velvetwhip posts Angel/Dawn/Willow with Family Values.

Pottery Class, Angel and Xander friendship piece

2008-04-29T13:48:07Z

Angel and Xander
Early season 2 BTVS
Character/friendship piece
Rated G
561 words
Angel has some hobbies. Xander is curious why.
Includes the prompt "Chimera" for tamingthemuse

I'm writing 500 plus word pieces to double up my prompts at taming, and this Xangel piece is the first. It could be either of my fandoms or any pairing next week.

Pottery Class.

Breast, "Starfish" and "Driftwood," Fragments One and Two, Gale/Helen

2008-04-27T00:14:14Z

banner by furriboots, click to see it full-sized.

Gale Harold/unknown woman (Helen)
Setting: marooned on a tropical island
Time: post QaF
NC 17 eventually
Disclaimer: this is not real!
A/n: diary of a woman marooned on a desert island with Gale Harold. Life is not quite what you would expect...

Yep, I have a reason for writing this. If you are in my fiction community, I explained with the first story post. I realized this morning that I've been trying for an Enchanted April experience with this. A reawakening.

Breast, Starfish, Fragment One

Breast, Starfish, Fragment Two

*The link is flocked. To see this story update, go to jans_fiction and join the community by visiting the user page and following the instructions at the top of the page.

gmta_nz shares five Justin drabbles.

Cities of the world icons here.

buckeye5 resumes posting Making a Scene 12 Part One and Part Two. Heed the warnings.

Wonderful Brian icons from furriboots here.

Say the Word, "Comfort," Part Five, Brian/Justin

2008-04-24T19:43:30Z

banners for the challenge made by furriboots

Title: Say the Word
Five: Comfort
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin
beta: furriboots
Disclaimer: Not mine.
An: AU in the style of pretty woman

Say the word: Advantageous by jans_intentions
Say the Word: Irreversible by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Complications by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Tempted by jans_intentions.

Say the Word: Cherry Blossom by Litlemspowerful.
Say the Word: White Chocolate by Litlemspowerful.

Now

"Justin, what are you doing?" Brian's light touch on his arm.

Justin jerked his arm away. "Get the fuck away from me!"

Brian waited a beat. "Live sex show? You turn down my offer because you think that will be humiliating and now you're doing this front of the Sap's guests?"

Justin scrubbed his face, looking up at Brian through swollen eyes.

"Plus, you look like shit."

"How I look won't matter! I know what they want, what they've always wanted. To see the little artist on his back, on his knees--"

"Of course they do. Who wouldn't?" Brian said calmly. He was dressed in a charcoal silk suit with red tie. He smelled wonderful. Expensive.

Comforting.

Justin shook his head, wondering why the fuck that had popped into his head?

In contrast, Justin was only wearing tight black underwear, eyeliner and mascara. As soon as he went on stage, he'd strip out of that so he and Jason, the model he'd been using for his painting of Ben, could fuck in front of the assembled guests.

Brian's hand in his hair, petting.

Somehow Justin was leaning closer to him, needing Brian-warmth.

He closed his eyes. "Why can't I just give in and be with you?" he whispered.

"Because you're fucking stubborn." Brian nuzzled Justin's forehead with his lips. "I...had someone once. I took good care of him."

Justin pulled away, seeing that familiar vulnerability in Brian's eyes. "Why a paid fuck?"

Brian's lips tightened. "So you know your place."

"On my knees?"

Brian took Justin's hand and pressed it against his erection. "Would it be so bad to spread yourself for me when I ask?"

Justin's breathing picked up. He'd been dreading the public display, but he realized that if he was going to take Brian on stage, it would be different. His cries of pleasure wouldn't be faked. It would be obvious he wanted Brian inside him, loved being fucked by him.

Brian's pupils were blown, black and predatory as he held Justin's eyes.

Justin swallowed, suppressing tears.

"Justin!" Brian shook him gently. "If you go out there, do this, you will be a whore."

Justin shrugged. "How's that different from what you want?"

Brian chewed his lip. "You'd be my cherished companion. I'd take care of you. Sexually. Financially. What more could you want?"

Justin shook his head. He was so tired. He couldn't--

"My card. Call me if you ever need me." Brian's gaze said I know something's wrong. Talk to me.

After a pause, Justin reached out and took it, holding onto it as Brian pulled away and headed back to the crowd.

Before

Ben lay sleeping on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask covering his mouth. "Justin, is he going to be okay?" Molly asked. She was holding Ben's hand, since she loved her brother's boyfriend.

"They said it's acute pancreatitis brought on by his HIV regiment," Justin told his younger sister.

"But...he's going to be all right?"

Justin swallowed. "...Sure, Mol. Of course, he will. Listen, you look really tired. Maybe we should call a cab so you can go home tonight, hmmm?"

"I want to stay with him!"

Justin took Molly into his arms, rubbing her tears with gentle fingers. "He needs you to be strong. Can't do that if you don't get enough sleep."

Molly nodded. "It's fucking scary seeing him hooked up like that!"

"I know."

"I mean, what would I do without him getting on my case about doing my math homework?"

"Ben's going to be okay. I promise," Justin said.

"I don't know how you deal with this," Molly whispered. "You're so strong for him, Justin."

Now

Out on the special platform the Sap had set up in his home, Justin blinked at the bright lights. Jason was on his knees, trying to put a condom on Justin, but Justin was only semi-hard, making it difficult.

He grimaced as Jason tried to roll it on.

Brian.

Off to the side, as if he'd been on the verge of leaving.

He was watching Justin.

"Hey, Justin!" Jason gave a soft sound of surprise when Justin's mood abruptly changed.

Staring at Brian.

"On your knees, Jas," Justin rasped. "Let's get this over with."

Don't do this.

Justin hardened his jaw, fingers inside Jason, remembering how he'd wanted him, wanted to tangle his fingers in Jason's curly brown hair, slap the sun tattoo on his lower back as he rode him...

His eyes were caught by a bleak hazel gaze as he pushed inside, hearing catcalls, the clink of glasses, laughter.

Brian, I want you. Thrusting in and out of Jason, hand over his back, almost possessive with his trick, watching his cock disappear inside Jason's upraised ass.

Brian next to the stage now, eyes devouring Justin. He reached out and his fingertips grazed Justin's hip, holding Justin's defiant blue gaze.

I'm fucking him for you. Do you like to watch me?

In. Out. Brian's gaze holding his, until his balls tightened and his neck arched and he shoved deeper inside Jason, spilling...

When he opened his eyes, dazed, weak... Brian was gone.

Later

Justin was leaning against the wall in the hospital hallway, head back, eyes closed.

When he opened them, there was Brian, rumpled suit, loosened tie, beard shadow, tired hazel eyes.

Soft, "...I had no one else to call."

"I'm glad you called me," Brian said. He peered into the window of Ben's hospital room. "That's your boyfriend?"

"Ben. Yes." Justin nodded. "He's positive. Guess you'll take back your offer now, since you know I sleep with--"

"I'm always careful." Brian cupped Justin's face.

Justin took a deep breath that broke like a branch taking too much weight. He felt brittle, his eyes stung, his skin hurt, his emotions were a red ball lodged in his chest.

"I didn't know who else to call," he repeated, smoothing a hand down Brian's suit. "Shit, I called you, why? Why did I...?"

"Because we're connected." Brian's lips against his forehead as Justin dug his fingers into Brian's shoulders.

Choked, "I don't want Ben to die!" Justin leaned against Brian. "I have to be strong for him. H-how do I do that?"

"Listen. Are you listening to me, Justin? You are strong." Brian's palms bracketing Justin's face, holding his gaze. "You're as strong as you are beautiful, Sunshine."

Justin buried his face against Brian's suit, holding on, taking strength from this thing between them.

Connected.

He scrubbed his eyes, taking a ragged breath. "I have to..."

Brian nodded, swallowing. "Go take care of your boyfriend."

"I, uh, I needed the money. Molly, Ben sick, it was all too much."

"You don't need to fucking explain. I've been there. A man does what he has to, to take care of the people he cares about."

"You said you had someone. Once." Justin studied Brian.

Brian nodded. "Long time ago. Go be with him. I'll wait out here."

Justin's eyes filled again. Brian would stay with him. He wouldn't be alone. "Brian, I'll take the deal. If, um, you still want me."

Wet blue eyes asking.

"I want you," Brian said, very firmly.

Justin clung to Brian's hand, only letting go as he entered Ben's room.

************************

Say the Word, Feminine, Part Six

My own celebration

2008-04-19T23:13:36Z

I celebrated my birthday yesterday and I thought I'd share a little about it. I had wanted to visit a rather exclusive tea salon in the French style for a long time. I absolutely love the shop since it reminds me of some of the more exotic places I've traveled, like the Egyptian spice market in Istanbul. So I had high tea with my family at Urban Tea. The French blue Earl Grey smells like perfume. Unbelievable!

Afterwards I walked my Sheltie Cadfael through the woods and to the ocean at Ambleside park. Drove home to my family house and went out for a pedicure. It was a day I really spoiled myself.

click on the thumbnail to make it full sized.

I bought myself the eggplant colored teapot for my birthday. I'm collecting them since we don't have a lot of room, but I like the odd very special thing. The taller blue one was my Christmas gift this year. And I thought the little plant pot feet were so cute! They are from China town, and made to look like little slippers. I spotted them on the drive home through the city.

Say the Word, "Tempted," Part Four, Brian/Justin

2008-04-18T16:37:38Z

banners for the challenge made by furriboots

Title: Say the Word
Four: Tempted
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Brian/Justin
beta: furriboots
Disclaimer: Not mine.
An: AU in the style of pretty woman
Photo of Robert Gant, click to see it full-sized.

Say the word: Advantageous by jans_intentions
Say the Word: Irreversible by jans_intentions.
Say the Word: Complications by jans_intentions.

Say the Word: Cherry Blossom by Litlemspowerful.

I'd like to thank chiara1, wouldbedorothy, galesweetie, landlady_4rent and an anonymous person/s for gifts certificates and paid time on my journals. If you'd like me to know who you are, please let me know, otherwise, know that I was very touched!

Happy birthday my dear friend youbetterwiseup! xx

The wonderfully talented ladybugkay wrote me a bit of in character BJ for my birthday: By Flatterers Besieged.

I'm almost a little...embarrassed by how shameless this story is. I keep thinking I shouldn't be doing it.

Justin cocked his head, charcoal gripped in his hand as he shaded in one area, licking his lips.

Ben smiled at him.

"You're not supposed to look sweet," Justin chided. "Domy is the look."

"And I will resume it, Mr. Taylor," Ben promised. "But you're not even working on my face now."

"How do you know?" Justin pushed hair out of his eyes. He guessed he should get a hair cut, but Ben liked tangling his hands in it when they--

Lying on the floor, legs held open, trembling as Brian stimulated him with his foot. He heard footfalls and knew someone had come in to talk to Brian at Kinnetik, some subordinate who didn't see that Brian had a nude Justin under his desk, body open while Brian used his foot to play.

He closed his eyes on the flash back. Shit! That was two weeks ago. Why was he still thinking about Brian? Justin had made his position clear.

Ben rubbed a hand over the model's hip, raising a brow and looking at Justin, and suddenly Justin had an urge to ask Ben if they could...all three of them.

Immediately he felt shitty. He knew Ben had good reason to prefer a monogamous relationship. Justin enjoyed it too, but he did have a wilder side, one he kept carefully repressed.

He loved Ben; Ben had been there for him when his father would have nothing to do with him, when Justin was figuring out how to support himself and Molly. Ben didn't approve of Justin's work, but Justin wouldn't allow Ben to support them.

Justin sighed, looking at Ben, seeing kindness there. And more.

He put down his charcoal.

"Ben...?"

Ben stood and slapped the model they'd hired on his tattoo. "Thanks, Jace. I think Justin is done for the day." He held Justin's gaze, blue eyes smoldering.

Now Justin felt anticipation.

He'd made the right decision with Brian.

...

"Brian...I have a boyfriend."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Justin blinked. "I've never...been with anyone else."

Brian put his glass down gently and walked over to Justin. "Do you love him?"

"Yes."

Soft, "If I touched you right now..."

"Don't touch." Justin closed his eyes. "I'll come if you--"

"Keep the boyfriend. Let me have you weekends." Brian rested his forehead against Justin's. "Take the deal."

Holding Brian's gaze, feeling his body come alive in some inexplicable way, responding only to Brian, Justin shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I care about him."

"We could set limitations." Brian circled him and Justin felt like he was being stalked. "No kissing. Just let me inside you. You know I'll make you feel good."

Justin shivered when Brian ran a finger down his back, knowing that Brian could make him come so easily. A few casual touches and Justin would be on his back, begging like a slut.

He bit his lip hard, reminding himself this was business. He had a life, he had a boyfriend. Brian had admitted all he wanted was a paid fuck.

"I...it would be humiliating."

Brian's hazel eyes flared. "Humiliating? Is that what you think?"

Flushed, Justin nodded.

"Humiliation can be hot," Brian said. "In certain very carefully measured doses."

Justin frowned. "I don't think so!"

"That's because you're a little control freak. Fine, pass on my offer, but I paid for an hour of your time."

"So you did." Justin wiped his sweaty palms. "What do you want?"

Brian told him.

...

Nude, Justin replaced the model on Ben's knee. He leaned forward, lips parting as Ben worked him, skillful, knowing what Justin liked.

"Make me not think about anything but you," Justin whispered against Ben's lips. "Fill me up."

...

Brian snapped the diamond choker around Justin's bent neck. He was perched on Brian's knee, conscious that because of his nudity Brian could have no doubt now that Justin was moved.

"You like something inside you, don't you?" Brian asked, smoothing a hand over Justin's back and ass.

Justin took a deep breath. "Yes, but--"

"Not me." Brian opened a drawer and Justin's eyes widened, seeing toys, condoms...obviously Brian liked to be prepared.

"Bend forward and hold the desk."

"Brian..."

"You'll love this."

Justin swallowed, thinking that was the problem. Brian never did anything to him that he didn't love, didn't crave.

He got off Brian's knee and, cheeks burning, bent over the desk, legs separated. He wondered if Brian would spank him. Some of his previous clients had liked that, and Justin had found it mildly stimulating, though it embarrassed him to admit it to himself.

Fingers circled his entrance, slick with lube.

Justin tensed, knowing he should say no, make it clear Brian wasn't to come inside him.

Brian pushed inside, very gently, taking a lot of time to slide his fingers, circling, touching Justin everywhere but his prostate.

Fuck!

After a while, Justin was swaying on his arms, enjoying the attentions; he felt the wider pressure of something else. His head snapped back and he saw Brian was pushing a slender dildo inside him.

Brian shunted it back and forth, making electrifying contact.

Soft, "Like that?"

Justin looked at Brian through heavy-lidded eyes, guessing he probably looked as slutty as he felt. "...Yes."

"Good boy." Brian smacked his ass, making Justin tighten deliciously around the object inside him. "Lie on your back and hold your legs open." Brian gestured for Justin to get under his desk.

Heart beat picking up, Justin did as Brian ordered, spreading his legs, and holding his thighs open. The dildo inside him moved, pressing against his prostate.

He remembered the first time they'd met, at one of the Sap's parties which Justin usually dreaded. How Brian had used his foot...!

"I had a Japanese pedicure just for you," Brian said in a conversational tone, as if he hadn't hired Justin to strip, wear a diamond collar and spread himself at Brian's feet. "I don't bother with shit like that normally, except it makes the soles of your feet extra soft in some places and refines the callus in others..."

As Justin watched, lying open at Brian's whim, Brian reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a glass bottle, removing the stopper to release the pungent scent of rosemary.

He poured liquid into his palm, rubbed it briskly before reaching down and--

"Ohhhhhh!" Justin pushed his cock deeper into Brian's oil-coated hand.

"Stay very. Still," Brian said. He pulled off his left shoe and sock and then placed his foot on the freshly applied oil, rubbing.

Holding his thighs open, Justin watched as he picked up the headset to his phone.

"Do you remember when you were a little boy? Not too long ago, in your case," Brian drawled. "You probably had to ask an adult if you needed to visit the bathroom. In this instance, I want you to ask me to let you come."

Justin lost his breath. "Brian...?"

"Ask me nicely and I'll give you what you need."

...

Brian spoke over the phone to a client, leaning back in his chair, accepting fresh coffee from an assistant.

And under Brian's desk, Justin bit his lip to keep from whimpering, to keep from asking.

Ask me nicely and I'll give you what you need.

...

Justin's attention was completely focused on friction now, light, teasing, whether Brian would pause, his foot lightly grazing Justin's open thigh, or he would rub the edge of callus against Justin's slit, so he couldn't help but whimper and push himself up--

But if he moved, Brian would stop.

So Justin tried to hold still, very still, as he'd been ordered.

And he understood why Brian warned him that humiliation could be hot, because he was nude, helpless, an object that Brian was playing with, and Brian had demanded he ask for release.

And a big part of Justin loved that, which shamed him. How could he like being treated this way, like a pet Brian had in training?

The attentions continued, Brian on the phone, fingers tapping on his keyboard--

"Brian!" Justin chewed his lip. He couldn't. He needed!

Brian raised his brow and Justin thought he saw brief vulnerability in the hazel eyes. Brian was miffed at him. Teaching him a lesson. Why? Because Justin had rejected his offer to belong to him on weekends?

"Please can I...?" Justin took a deep breath and the dildo shifted. God! "May I come, Brian?"

Brian surprised Justin.

He put aside the earphones and knelt immediately next to Justin, stroking the hair off his forehead, hand running over Justin's sweaty chest and then his mouth--

Brian took Justin inside, sucking him expertly, tenderly, holding Justin's legs open as Justin cried out, as Justin came, spurting helplessly into Brian's mouth, shuddering as Brian licked him.

...

In Brian's arms, Justin surreptitiously wiped away a tear, panting, the fingers of one hand digging into Brian's back.

"I'm sorry you won't be mine," Brian said.

Justin's eyes stung. What was he going to do?

I want to be his.

************************

Say the Word: Comfort